How to Nurture Your Daughter's Self-Image: Everyday Tips
As a mom, I want what is best for my daughters… In a blended family, fostering independence, self-confidence, and self-love in these girls is a huge priority for me. Girls and women still face major challenges to mental/emotional health and personal success, even though things are better for our girls than they were for ourselves, and our mothers and aunts. Props to the women who’ve paved the way so far, and I’m especially loving the most recent vibe of absolutely amazing women in the headlines. Leadership, body positivity, mental health self-care– all of this is on display and I am so excited about it. BUT we definitely still have a long way to go.
So jump on my bandwagon today, and let’s talk about some practical habits you can develop to be a role model and a full-blown cheer squad for the young girls in your life!
Practice Body Positivity
I think this might be both the most fundamental and the most difficult aspect of building up our girls. Your sense of self is partly built on the foundation of your perception of your physical presence. Girls are born loving their bodies and your body (who doesn’t think their mom is the most gorgeous creature??), but they are bombarded practically from birth with negative conversations about body diversity. Here’s what you can do to help offset that impact:
Lead by Example: Show her that you love and accept your own body. Let's avoid those negative comments about ourselves or others. This might be really hard for you, if you’ve been impacted by generations of negative body image talk.
Focus on Health and Function: Talk about what your bodies can DO and how they FEEL, instead of what they look like.
Challenge the Media: Talk about how unrealistic beauty standards can be, once your girl is old enough to start hearing and seeing this negativity. Encourage her to think critically about the messages she sees.
Promote Self-Confidence
Oh my goodness, if only we could have our girls keep their toddler confidence: “I do it MYSELF!” Of course, tempered with growing wisdom about safety and appropriate behaviors, but still…
Celebrate Her Wins: No matter how small, acknowledge and praise her accomplishments. Be sure you aren’t just focusing on academics or physical stuff, but also self-regulation, and other internal “wins” that are less obvious.
Encourage New Things: Support her in trying new things and stepping outside her comfort zone– even when she “fails”. Developing a healthy attitude towards failure is a major boost to future self-confidence. Fear of failure can actually keep you from success.
Teach Problem-Solving: Equip her with the tools to handle challenges and setbacks. This boosts her confidence and independence.
Engage in Positive Self-Talk
The way that you talk to yourself has an outsized impact on the way you think about yourself. Check your inner voice, and help your girls develop an inner voice that is healthy and affirming.
Model Positivity: Use positive affirmations regularly and encourage her to do the same.
Challenge Negative Thoughts: Help her identify and replace negative thoughts with positive and empowering statements.
Practice Gratitude: Encourage her to focus on the things she's thankful for. This can improve her mood and perspective.
Support Healthy Friendships
The people you spend your time with also have a major impact on how you think about yourself. When you are surrounded by people who respect you, care about you, build you up, trust you, and value your opinion, you learn that you are WORTHY of those things. You are your girl’s first friend, but she’ll eventually have to learn what to look for in people outside the safe circle of your relationship. Give her the skills to recognize healthy relationships.
Teach Friendship Values: Discuss the qualities of a good friend, like loyalty, kindness, and respect.
Encourage Healthy Relationships: Talk about what feels good in a friendship, and why.
Set Boundaries: Teach her the importance of setting boundaries and standing up for herself.
By incorporating these tips into our daily interactions, we can help our daughters develop the positive self-image and confidence that will build a strong foundation for their future. Remember, small, daily steps take you far over time!
Good Books For Parents
Psychology Today offers a helpful filter for family systems and family therapy, allowing you to ask questions tailored to your experience with blended families. Along with these web resources that provide insightful tips and ideas, you'll find valuable support for navigating this unique journey.
And you can follow me along MY journey in blending my family, too. It’s shaping up to be a fantastic, life-changing adventure!
