San Diego Couples & Trauma Therapist
Helping couples reconnect when trauma, ADHD, neurodivergence, betrayal, addiction, or years of unresolved conflict have made the relationship feel harder than it should.
You can love each other deeply and still feel stuck in painful patterns.
Sometimes the problem isn't that you don't communicate enough. It's that trauma, attachment wounds, ADHD, emotional regulation, family-of-origin experiences, addiction, betrayal, or chronic stress are shaping the way each of you responds to the other.
I help couples slow those patterns down, understand what is happening underneath the conflict, and develop a different way of relating.
I'm Amy Anderson, LCSW, a San Diego-based couples and trauma therapist with more than 20 years of experience across mental health, substance use, forensic, government, and private-practice settings. I have been a licensed clinical social worker since 2015.
My work integrates Gottman Method Couples Therapy with trauma-informed approaches including EMDR, IFS, mindfulness, CBT/trauma-focused approaches, and DBT-informed skills when clinically appropriate.
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You might be thinking...
“We love each other, but we keep having the same fight.”
“One of us shuts down and the other keeps pushing.”
Fill in the blank “ADHD/Autism/Mental Health/Work/Kids/Addiction “is affecting our marriage and we're both so frustrated.”
“My partner's past trauma keeps showing up in our relationship and I don’t know what to do.”
“We are trying to recover after infidelity and we are stuck.”
“We have become roommates instead of partners.”
“We function really well everywhere else, but our relationship is struggling and distant.”
Many past clients have whispered these words to me, if they sound like familiar, Couples Therapy can provide a structured place to understand the cycle you're caught in and begin creating something different.
Couples Therapy
for Complex Relationships
I commonly work with couples & individuals navigating:
Trauma and attachment wounds
ADHD and neurodivergence
Repeated or escalating conflict
Emotional shutdown and disconnection
Infidelity and betrayal
Addiction and recovery
High-achieving lifestyles and burnout
Family-of-origin wounds
Blended-family and stepfamily stress
Intimacy and emotional disconnection
Major life transitions
Difficult patterns that seem impossible to change
Coaching Services if Appropriate
Walk & Talk Therapy or Coaching
in
San Diego, California
Experience the benefit of therapy & coaching in nature through movement therapy
My Clinical Approach
I don't believe every relationship problem can be solved by learning a few better communication skills.
Communication matters—but sometimes communication is only the visible layer of a deeper pattern.
Together, we may explore attachment, individual value differences, codependency, trauma responses, emotional regulation, family-of-origin experiences, nervous-system responses, expectations, trust, boundaries, intimacy, and the interaction between individual struggles and the relationship system itself.
My goal is not to decide who is right. It is to help you understand what is happening between you & your inner child, create greater emotional safety within the couple, family system, and determine what needs to change for the relationship to become healthier from the eyes of those in it.
Who I Work With
I love working with thoughtful, motivated couples who are willing to look beneath the surface.
Many of my clients are high-achieving professionals, healthcare workers, first responders, military or law-enforcement professionals, entrepreneurs, creatives, and people who are accustomed to being competent everywhere else in life, however feel inherently stuck in their closest relationships.
I also welcome neurodivergent individuals and couples, LGBTQIA+ clients, and consensually non-monogamous and non-traditional relationship structures.
Couples Intensives
Some couples benefit from having more time than a traditional weekly session allows. This is especially true if you are in crisis, do not live in San Diego, CA and desire more intimate in person settings, or work non-traditional work hours.
Couples intensives can provide extended typically 3-4 hours per session, allowing uninterrupted focused time to work on a specific relationship challenge, understand entrenched patterns, or create a structured plan for moving forward.
Individual Trauma Therapy
Sometimes relationship change also requires individual work. Many couples seek me out due to my openness to work with an individual on deeper trauma, ADHD/ADD, Addiction components with the understanding it is with the relationship in mind.
I provide trauma-informed individual therapy for adults navigating trauma, ADHD, anxiety, perfectionism, burnout, attachment wounds, emotional regulation, and other experiences that may affect relationships and daily functioning.
Therapy in San Diego
I provide in-person therapy from my San Diego office, with telehealth services available to those in California and Pennsylvania.
Let’s spend 10–15 minutes talking about where you are, where you want to go, and what’s getting in the way. Bring your questions, and we’ll get you clear, confident, and moving forward.
MY SIMPLE APPROACH TO INNER HEALING
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STEP ONE
Starts with a conversation, you do not need to know the exact type of therapy you need before seeking support. Typically 15 minute telephone or telehealth session. You can complete HIPPA compliant intake & state privacy legal forms prior to or after we decide to work together.
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STEP TWO
First few appointments are the deep dive into your history, into the story of YOU and YOUR relationship, while I explain the therapeutic process, psychoeducation, & building our therapeutic rapport. Gottman protocol, meet as a couple first, and then two individual sessions before the Gottman Assessment is sent via the Gottman Institute.
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STEP THREE
Compassionate, mindfulness, relational support with integration of evidenced based tools in an ongoing safe accountability container, set at your own pace with your identified SMART goals.
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