How To Live A Well-Designed Life
Last week we talked about the importance of clarity and vision. Today I want to talk about the practical process of implementing that vision into a Well-Designed Life. I’m specifically addressing individuals in recovery, and those of you who are exploring the possibility that you have some unhealthy habits and compulsive behaviors that might need to be addressed. But I also hope that this conversation can be widely appreciated by anyone who is seeking to implement a more deliberate, conscious way of living.
So, where do we even begin this exciting (but sometimes daunting) quest for purpose? Of course, it begins with introspection… Have you implemented your Clarity Day yet? One of the practices you can add to your Clarity Day is to think back to a time before addiction (or stress, or anxiety– or whatever it is that is triggering the unhealthy behaviors we are addressing) took hold, ask yourself:
What activities brought you joy?
What did you dream of achieving?
What values were most important to you?
Maybe it was helping others, teaching or mentoring, spending time in nature, or feeling a sense of accomplishment through your work, or creative expression. Think of the keywords that define the person you most aspire to be: courageous, kind, innovative, adventurous, humble, intelligent, funny, trustworthy. Getting reconnected with your True Self will help you design the Life that will bring you the most fulfillment and joy.
Weaving in Healthy Enhancements
But now, let's talk about the nuts and bolts, the practical part, where you actually start penciling stuff into your calendar– because this is where Theory becomes reality, and you can really see the Well-Designed Life start to take shape. I’m going to give you three practical categories that provide a sort of framework to get you started, three things that ought to be a major priority for mental and physical health.
1. Move Your Body
You had to know this one would be on my list, right? We all know that movement is essential to physical and mental health. I know I’m not the first one to tell you this! But I’m not just talking about pounding out the miles on the treadmill or logging as many gym hours as possible. Those things are great and fine, but what I want you to do right now is think about the crossroads where your passions, or your keywords from that first paragraph intersect with physical movement. Are you passionate about Nature? Volunteer with a local non-profit taking care of green spaces in your community. Is knowledge and education your thing? Take a class on a new topic, or tutor in an underserved school district.
2. Build a Support System
Humans are social creatures, and strong relationships are vital for our well-being. But I don’t want you to just hang out with the nearest, or easiest group of people. I want you to look for positive, supportive people, who make you feel safe. People who affirm your recovery goals. People who are on the same (or similar) journey you are on. This might include a partner, friends, co-workers, a therapist, or even a recovery group. A sense of belonging and community is an invaluable part of a Well-Designed Life.
3. Feed Your Curiosity
Your brain is almost infinitely capable of growth and change. Finding new ways to challenge and engage your brain is a fantastic way to fight those old urges and cravings. Whether you are learning a new language, a creative skill, or simply diving deeper into a topic that fascinates you, indulge your brain in new information and experiences as often as you can. Follow that curiosity and it will grow and develop and take you to amazing places!
Putting it All Together: Bringing Purpose to Life
I'll tell you a little story about an imaginary client (but it could be real!) so you can see how these elements can work together to create a fulfilling life in recovery. Meet Sarah, who is trying to address her complicated relationship with alcohol. Her Clarity Day (hiking in a National Forest) reminded her how much she loves the outdoors. Her reflection on her values and keywords revealed a passion for helping others and a deep compassion for the helpless. She joined a team, volunteering at an animal shelter, and found her niche in caring for rescued animals, who weren’t ready to be adopted yet because they were still recovering from their own trauma. Exercise became a regular part of her routine through long walks with the shelter dogs, improving her mood and physical health. Sarah also took an online course in animal behavior, feeding her curiosity and equipping her with valuable knowledge about how to help these animals that had captured her heart and imagination.
This combination of purpose (helping animals), and healthy enhancements (exercise, connection with like-minded people, learning new things to feed her passion), has put Sarah well on her way to realizing a Well-Designed Life. And guess what? This could be your story too!
Remember, finding your purpose is a journey, not a destination. I’ll say it every time I talk about healing and recovery: this is a long, gradual process. Don’t get discouraged when you don’t see obvious results immediately. There is no magical cure or magic spell to produce the results you are hoping to achieve. It just takes time and consistency over the long term. Be gentle with yourself, take breaks, forgive your mistakes and setbacks, and celebrate the small wins. Reach out to me any time and let’s talk about how you can get started.
Here are some additional resources:
The National Institute on Drug Abuse: https://www.nih.gov/about-nih/what-we-do/nih-almanac/national-institute-drug-abuse-nida
The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA): https://www.samhsa.gov/
The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): https://www.nami.org/
