Let’s Build Strong Sibling Relationships: A Guide for Blended Families
We’ve been talking about Blended Families lately. And mostly I’ve been talking about it from a Parenting point of view. But there are other relationships in a blended family, right? I won’t go into the couple relationship right now– that is a whole other topic! But what about the SIBLINGS? Sibling relationships can be a little challenging even under the BEST circumstances. Most parents dream of their kids being best friends, but the changing dynamics of a blended family may feel difficult to navigate. It can feel like there is so much at stake! Making sure that the love between the new couple trickles down to the kids, too, is a key part of building a new Family.
I do have two really solid tips I can give you that will help, and they balance each other out. The first is CELEBRATE INDIVIDUALITY. The second is FIND COMMON GROUND.
You see what I mean about balancing each other out? Kids love to feel special. They want to be loved for their originality, and their unique-ness. And in the midst of all the lovey-dovey “togetherness” of blending families, kids can sometimes feel like their individuality is being threatened. So find ways to celebrate the things that make each sibling unique. What do they love? What activities do they enjoy? What is their favorite food? Have special one-on-one times with each child that give them a chance to shine. Really get to know them and get involved as a family in supporting their special-ness.
On the other hand… Common Ground is the way we bond. Finding common ground between step-siblings is crucial to help them build a friendly relationship that hopefully eventually grows into something strong and beautiful. Point out to each of them the ways that they are alike, and get the whole family involved in activities, hobbies, and outings that are mutual favorites of the stepsiblings. Find that Family Identity that every individual can belong to. Build a team.
So your challenge is to find the balance between these two things. And believe me! It can definitely be challenging at times! Especially with strong, independent kids who know their own minds, have confidence in who they are, and have big, bold beautiful personalities. Let me also say that no sibling relationships, no matter how biologically close, are completely without conflict. So don’t get discouraged when things get hard, or a little prickly– that’s all part of the process, too. You’ll have great opportunities to model conflict resolution with them and help them learn to hear each other and find compromise along the way.
What a fantastic thing it can be to see step-siblings becoming comfortable as members of the same team, reaching out to each other for and with support and affection. I am so here for it! I am so motivated to do the long slow work of building an environment where every individual feels safe, loved, appreciated, special, and valued. Let’s do it together! Here’s a great article with more info and tips, and feel free to reach out for a chat, if you want some support or encouragement.
Blended families are common. Here are tips to help stepsiblings get along
